inside the mind of westopher

Sometimes I just wanna disappear, so that way I don’t disappoint the ones I love…

And just maybe this is what I need, that this will save me from myself…

It would seem that Im about at the end of my rope…

Nothing between us will ever be the same, you’re fucking dead to me..

When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. And that’s what you’re going to get, Lad, the strongest castle in all of England.

i find it getting harder and harder everyday, sometimes i dont know who i am anymore when i look into the mirror. i feel as if ive lost my way and ill never be able to find it again. so much as happened in the past couple months and i still have trouble dealing with the gulit and pain of a second engagment failing. i sometimes feel as if im a failure because that seems to be the only thing im good at anymore. i always manage to find away to take things i love and either push them away or tear them down until there is nothing left. im try so hard to move forward and stay positive but it seems as if i cant, as if something keeps draging me back to the heartaches and pain. sometimes i just want to get into my truck and just drive and never look back, bu then again that would be just a form of running from my problems. ie also thought about just ending it all and taking the easy way out, but that would be one of the most selfish things i could ever do, and i would hurt so many people. i hate this constant depression i have, it keeps throwing all of my mistakes in my face and reminds me of how much ive lost and pushed away. im scared, im scared to death of how that i might be alone for the rest of my life, that if i dnt change ill never find my place in this world…